For the last couple of years I have been dwelling on the subject of young children while writing Rest, Play, Grow. As my book is released, I thought that the best way to mark it’s passage from my computer into the world, would be to share the three things that encapsulate what I really think young kids would like us to understand about them.

Preschoolers know much better than they can behave and are impulsive by design.. The parts of the brain responsible for self-control are still under development in young children. The brain is only 20% developed at birth and will ideally become more integrated in the first 6 years of life.

Play is critical to a child’s overall development; it is like oxygen. Play gives children the space to master life skills. It also fosters brain integration and creates a networked system that will be used in problem solving and creativity. When a child is at play, they are leaping ahead developmentally and forming a sense of identity and self-agency. Play serves a purpose, but we fail to recognize nature’s intention in hard wiring the play instinct into us.

If you are around a playground or schoolyard long enough you are bound to hear a child or adult say, “You need to say you’re sorry.” These words are meant to soothe hurts, prevent kids from taking justice into their own hands, and convey rules for behaviour. You will also hear kids point out insincere sorry’s when they hear them and demand, “you need to say sorry like you mean it!” Forced sorry’s sound hollow because they are usually devoid of genuine caring. The problem is that while we can force a child to say sorry, it doesn’t mean that they feel remorse.

Many moms and dads are now convinced the main goal of preschool is to prepare kids academically for kindergarten: reciting the alphabet, counting to 100, learning the days of the week, sitting still for stories, and writing their names. They don't realize the mastery of these narrow skills doesn't align with the latest findings in neuroscience. What is research telling us about early learning?

Parents worry about whether their child is ready for kindergarten. Teachers and school administrators are concerned that too many children are entering school before they are ready. Legislators are investing in early-childhood education to improve children’s readiness for school. 

Traveling around the country, teaching and talking with parents and educators from a variety of backgrounds and environments, has persuaded me that we’re in danger of losing the child in childhood.